[Review] Shinjuu suru made, mattete ne

Characters:

Fukuta (CV: Itou Kento) /seme & Aoi (CV: Saito Souma) /uke

*Probably I’ll just skip the synopsis*

Overview -> Angst, angst, angst and heartbreak. I dont know if a box of kleenex is enough or that morality is not enough justice for these characters

It begins with a memory of Fukuta, being bullied in his childhood time due to his name and the person who saved him is a middle school boy, who happens to live next to his family’s apartment, Aoi

Fast forward 15yrs later? Fukuta, now an adult, who works as a waiter. He rented an apartment nearby his working area but his life is nothing but being threatened everyday. His trashed thrown or cursed stuff outside his apartment. He can ignored all those bullies, all he know, his instincts is to find a boy with glasses. He doesnt know who is he, but he keep on remembering his childhood memories of Aoi. He is a very kind guy who could not see someone in trouble and end up helping them even if he’s late getting to work. One day, as usual, unconsciously searching for the hole in his heart, he wanders to find the boy with the glass only to mistake on a woman who almost look alike.

After a long walk, he tried going home, and saw the boy he is looking for, only he is the same appearance from 15yrs ago. He spotted him around his apartment, and Fukuta tried to asked him what happen to him all these years. Aoi avoided the question, and just wanted to stay with him. Aoi just stated that something happened to him making him looked like 15yrs old and he wanted to hide in Fukuta’s apartment. Fukuta, excited to see Aoi again agreed to his needs without questioning why. It is such a good time until one day, Fukuta helped an old man nearby his apartment carries his things inside. When he got home, his apartment is unlocked and there is a bloody writing on his wall. Fukuta, terrified, frantically searching for Aoi everywhere, wondering if he is hurt or no. *at this point I cant hold on. Itou’s performance on saying Aoi-niichan for a few times, is too real and the feel is there* After several tries, he found Aoi in the bathroom taking a bath. He was relieved that Aoi was not hurt and report the case to the police.

Fukuta think of moving to somewhere else, changing apartment to keep Aoi safe, to the point of making multiple keys, setting up cctv and increasing security measures on his apartment. Aoi said “yeah, you must stay away from this apartment, but I cant” and that startled Fukuta. He wanted to ask why but decide not to because Aoi keep dodging his questions so in the end, he didnt change apartment, but take extreme security measures on Aoi; Fukuta’s behaviour is so frantic, Aoi knew that Fukuta loves him more than a brother like but he himself not realizing it. His obsession on Aoi escalate that every night he keep on touching Aoi which he assumed as a wet dream only that one time, Aoi could not take it anymore and told him it is not a dream. Realizing what he has done, he swear on Aoi that he will never touched him again XD— Aoi literally said “screw it, I’d always wanted you to touch me too” and lets go to lala land scene #slapped

It is another good time and passing by till Fukuta’s mother called him and asked him how he is. Fukuta blurted out he meet Aoi and his mother was shocked, “what are you talking about? Aoi went missing and declared dead 15yrs ago”. Fukuta froze. The memories started to come back and it started when he first met Aoi. He was bullied by his new classmates, and Aoi helped him to be friends with them, and that Aoi was 15yrs old when they met. Aoi is close to him, and that he is his hero. For Fukuta, Aoi is his savior, hero and the only person he treasure all of his life only that, when Fukuta left Aoi at their secret hideout to play with his friends, Aoi told him to enjoy his time and to come back once he finished playing. Aoi’s face was a sad one, waving to him knowing well he might not able to see Fukuta anymore. When Fukuta came back to their secret place, their hideout was trashed, and there was no sight or presence of Aoi. He told his mom, and there was a police search, but they still could not find him. Fukuta blamed himself for leaving Aoi behind, and tried to find him on his own, only to fall into the cold river. His life is spared but his memories is lost due to trauma of losing Aoi. For 15 years, Fukuta realized, the thing that he was missing and continuing to look for is Aoi. By now, he knew that the Aoi who is staying with him is a ghost but because he doesnt want to lose that sight again, he decided to ignored that fact and cut off from reality. He didnt come to work, he didnt answer any calls, just continue to live in that apartment with the presence of Aoi.

“This facade shall disappear” Aoi thought with Fukuta’s recent behavior and decide to go outside, bringing Fukuta with him. Fukuta know and tried to stop him but could not do so. Aoi managed to step outside, and disappear at the place where he first spotted him. Fukuta screamed, and shouted but Aoi’s presence is no longer there. Fukuta went back to his apartment and tried to kill himself. He was unconscious but he found himself at a hospital when one of his colleagues brought him, founding him unconscious in his apartment. Fukuta could not see the world the same as it is, and when he got home, he tried to take off his mind by cleaning the window of his apartment. A thought flickered. *why Aoi appeared on this spot? and also disappear in the same spot?* so he investigated till he arrived at the apartment of the old man he met not long ago. He asked his landlord who is that man, and figured out what happened to Aoi on his own.

This is from Aoi’s point of view

Aoi sees his happy family, until one day he saw his dad bringing another woman to their apartment. His mother found out, they fight, and chased out his father. The woman his dad having an affair with was their neighbour and that woman is also chased out. Aoi’s world now turns darker until, one day, a new family moved into the apartment next to them.

After the incident with his father, Aoi’s distancing himself from his friends, and that his mother pressured him to be an excellent student, to prove that she is able to raise him alone. Aoi was forced to get 100 marks in every of his test but to him, its like a torture. One day, he met Fukuta, who was bullied by his friends. At first he doesnt want to help, but when seeing him crying, he could not ignore it and helped him. This bring these 2 closer than ever, and Fukuta even invited him to watch him baking and cooking. For Aoi, this is the happiness, the light at the end of the road but his mom doesnt like this. To his mom, neighbours are the same, only know how to take someone else’s happiness. Aoi tried to ignore his mom, and he made a secret base for himself & Fukuta whenever he feels down.

At school, Aoi accidentally dropped his test report, and his teacher picked it up for him. He said Aoi is such a hardworking student and he wished he has a son like that. Aoi just thanked him and fasten his task to be on time to go to their secret base. When he arrived, he found their base was trashed and ruined, and suddenly he recalled why his mother was such in a happy mood this morning. He immediately know that this is his mother’s doing, and tried to set it up when his teacher appear out of nowhere. yes, the teacher that spoke to him at school, and he offered Aoi to stay with him. Aoi thought this is his chance, and that Fukuta told him that he is playing with his friends, (this part is where Fukuta saw him talking to an unknown man) and notice the eyes of his teacher. It is the face of a pedophile. He knew his own fate, and also that his teacher is eyeing Fukuta so he decided to follow him, as long as Fukuta is spared. His days staying with his teacher is not what he imagined. He is fed, but if his teacher goes into his hobby, he will be raped. Aoi is tired of this life, and tried to escape. They fought, Aoi managed to hurt him with the knife he found but his teacher is still an adult, and bigger than him. He could not fight back, he was raped, and chocked till death. His remains was stored in the small cookie container inside that apartment. He knew he is dead, but his feelings for Fukuta attached him to this world, waiting at that apartment until 15years later.

The encounter of Fukuta and Aoi is when Fukuta is still an elementary stage while Aoi is a middle school student

Fukuta know now, that the man has something to do with Aoi’s death so he faced the old man, in his apartment, bringing his knife. That man did not even deny his wrong doings. He confessed everything and Fukuta could not take it. He stabbed the old man many times, and tried to find the remains of Aoi, if there is any, because his soul manifest, meaning he’s not properly buried. Fukuta found the cookie container, and opened. He knew it. It is Aoi’s remains. Aoi’s soul manifest and told Fukuta he regretted not telling the truth of his death. Fukuta also realized what he done, and took the remains of Aoi to their secret base.

After arriving to their base, accompanied by Aoi’s soul, Fukuta rest in peace holding Aoi’s remain in his arm.

After thoughts: Its an unfortunate series of events. I’m still angst with the ending because their performance is so good BUT they are too good to actually voiced these characters. Marine ent can cast other seiyuus than these two to play the drama. Not that I’m complaining but seriously, its tragic story, and casted 2 golden seiyuus for it, i rather think its not a bonus rather a waste but the plot is what it is. I’m speechless with the ending and probably will not listen to this twice.